'Hopefully his GF sees this red flag': New boyfriend introduced to GFs friend group, insists they all "pay their share" at restaurant

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Apr 26, 2023 5:00 PM EDT

A new boyfriend is making things really awkward for his girlfriend's group of friends. You're supposed to be on your best behavior when you meet new people, especially when it's someone close to your significant other! You want to make a good impression, unless you're this guy, "Aaron."

This person wrote to r/AmItheA**hole on a throwaway account. As the OP, u/throwrasplits, tells it, they and their friend group go way back, and meet up all the time for meals and drinks. The OP has been paying their own way at these meals for quite some time, and claims that their meal is very cheap due to the way they eat. No one seemed to have a problem with the OP paying for their own food, then evenly splitting the rest of the bill, which the OP is fine with as well. But things got awkward when one of the friend group brought along "Aaron." On his first introduction to the group, he made a pretty distinct — and negative — impression on the OP.

Check out the entire dining story below. Then, this job tried to write up their hardest working employee… only for the employee to quit ASAP, leaving them stunned. 

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  • 01
    Font - r/AmItheA Posted by u/throwrasplits AITA for always getting a separate bill at a restaurant? I've been part of the same group since secondary school and now in our early 30s we still meet up regularly.
    via u/throwrasplits
  • 02
    Font - I'm the only one who doesn't drink and I also have some food restrictions. This means that my meal is always the cheapest option and I very rarely share a plate with the others even if everyone else is eating sharing style.
    via u/throwrasplits
  • 03
    Font - So for years I've always had a separate bill, and then the group evenly splits the remainder. It was suggested by a friend years ago and nobody has ever made an issue.
    via u/throwrasplits
  • 04
    Font - One friend recently brought her new BF "Aaron" to the meal to introduce him to the group. We have a tendency to over order so I didn't think it was weird that he has a few drinks and ordered more than one dish.
    via u/throwrasplits
  • 05
    Font - When the bill came and my part was separated out Aaron started getting annoyed and told me to stop being a cheapskate and pay my share like everyone else.
    via u/throwrasplits
  • 06
    Font - I tried to explain but he just dug his heels in and got yelly and called me tight-fisted and selfish.
    via u/throwrasplits
  • 07
    Human body - I got flustered and paid my bill and left. Am I TA for still taking a separate bill even a decade later? Should I not be doing that?
    via u/throwrasplits
  • 08
    Font - BillyFromPhlly NTA 20 years ago my wife and I had dinner with a coworker and her husband. We had cokes while they had so much alcohol that the alcohol portion was almost double the meal portion. They then put up 1/2 the bill and looked at us almost expecting an argument. We simply paid and never went to dinner with them again. In fact the coworker asked my wife a few months later when we would have another dinner together to which my wife responded with "you mean so you guys could drink f
    via u/BillyFromPhlly
  • 09
    Font - readthethings13579 This is why I always tell the server we want separate checks when I'm out with friends or coworkers. I don't want to do the "how are we going to split the check" dance, I want each of us to pay for our own meals. If shared appetizers or desserts are involved, we can negotiate that, or a lot of the time I'll even put it on my own check and say it's my treat, because I'd rather pay for the appetizer than end up having to pay a percentage of a huge bill when there's always
    via u/readthethings13579
  • 10
    Font - Jmiller4230930 We had similar friends. We went out on New Year's Eve with them. We kept the waitress running for extra drinks, etc. They drank more than us, but it was New Year's Eve, so my husband looked at the bill, split it 50%, added a 20% tip, and handed our friends the bill. The husband looked at the bill and added enough money to even the cash out to the bill's total minus any tip. My husband was furious, but he worked with the husband so he added more money so the waitress would g
    via u/Jmiller4230930
  • 11
    Font - RebeccaMCullen Parta ipant [1] If someone else is paying, unless they say it's okay to order more, I stick to one mixed drink and then switch to water. If I'm paying my own bill, I can order whatever.
    via u/RebeccaMCullen
  • 12
    Font - Good_From_70 Partas ipant [3] ΝΤΑ Aaron was very inappropriately inserting himself into a friend dynamic that he knows nothing about. He was being a major AH to someone he barely knows. Don't even bother wasting a thought on jerks like that. It sounds like this happened very recently, but you should definitely talk to your friend about it. Expect an apology from the BF if you see his face again for him being an AH.
    via u/Good_From_70
  • 13
    Font - tropical-paradise Partas ipant [2] Why didn't the friend(s) put him in his place is what I'm wondering.
    via u/tropical-paradise
  • 14
    Font - Antman19820G You have been going out with these friends for over a decade, and in all of that time they have never complained that you pay for your own food separately from them. If they had a problem, they could have said so on many occasions or not invited you out. They all understood your specific requirements and they are happy to keep things as they are. New BF is the AH and he might be the EX-BF shortly with that attitude.
    via u/Antman19820G
  • 15
    Font - Suzdg Parta_ipant [2] How is paying for your own food not paying your share?? Such a bizarre reaction. Sounds like you and your friends have it all figured out. Don't let this bozo rock the boat. NTA.
    via u/Suzdg
  • 16
    Font - Deathcaps11 Parta ipant [2] Dang. Hopefully this guy isn't allowed at the get togethers anymore. Hopefully his gf sees this red flag. I'm sorry. I hope you get some closure with it if/when you decide to speak to friends. :/
    via u/Deathcaps11
  • 17
    Font - Yetikins Was the group at large just sitting quietly while he popped off with a tantrum?? Wtf?? Nobody else told him to stfu and stood up for you? Or did he just ignore any efforts to make him act like a civilized adult and stop embarrassing himself? 63 Reply Share throwrasplits OP The latter
    via u/Yetikins
  • 18
    Font - gcot802 Parta pant [3] Yikes. Well please rest assured you did not do anything wrong. He made an AH of himself. Hopefully your friend sees that and moves in from him soon.
    via u/gcot802
  • 19
    Font - imathrowawaylurkin If he does that in public, I'd hate to see how he acts behind closed doors. I hope he's not a boyfriend for much longer.
    via u/imathrowawaylurkin

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boyfriend friendship aita friends relationships girlfriend bills dining split
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